Masturbation is ... great fun ~62%
useful ~29%
the devils work ~5%
not something I do ~0%
better than sex ~0%
damaging ~0%
mastur-what-now? ~5%
My view
There is no doubt, masturbation is great fun. It is even more fun when it is shared between lovers.
My first time
I remember the first time I discovered masturbation. I was very naive as a child and had overheard someone at school talking about something to do with the penis. Something about moving it up and down and how good it felt. I also saw some boys making the action on cricket bat handles in a joking way. One night I decided I was going to try this movement out on my erection... and I wasn't going to stop until something happenend..because something was suppose to happen, right?
I lay in bed.
I was suppose to be asleep.
I got the movement going...felt good.
Hmm. That feels nice.
OOo, thats a funny sensation....
OK, so that's a different feeling too...
OOo,
oh..
oh my...
Oh jeez, what the hell is that and where did it come from?
Arghh..
Oh no.
What a mess.. quick clean it up.
What IS that?
... I need to do that again..
And the rest is history.
I cringe with embarrassment now. My bin would be filled with disgarded tissue paper. I thought my mum didn't know about this sort of thing.. She didn't tell me about it, so she can't know it exists, right?
Like I said.. naive.
Of course she knew what teenage boys get up to... and boy, was I up to it. When you are that age you think you can get away with everything because adults know nothing. I knew everything and had discovered the eight wonder of the world. I'm sorry mum.
Our teacher said that if we play with ourselves too much then we would lose our eyesight.
I went to the optician because I was worried.
The optician said 'You have to stop masturbating so much, Mr Dipper'
'So it's true?' I said 'Like Mr Smith said.. it'll make you go blind'
She looked at me and said 'No Mr Dipper..it's not that'
'You are upsetting the other patients!'
Today's Random Shite
Hate This Place - Goo Goo Dolls
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