Happy All Hallows Eve

I work part-time as a soccer tournament organiser. One evening a ball was kicked out of the play area into some woods. I retrieved the ball only to find it had a 4 inch, serrated bladed knife sticking out of it. I brought the knife home with me and it has been in our kitchen drawer for over a year until, two nights ago, I had to carve the pumpkin for Halloween. I saw the knife and thought it looked ideal for the job.

Here is 'JAcK'. Take this warning dear reader. JAcK is evil.. You see, the knife used to carve him was used in a bloody murder and thrown into the very woods that I found it. The victim had their eyes carved out after the murderer had removed the inside of the poor souls head. His mouth was slit to produce a grizzly smile that haunted the police officers that made the gruesome discovery.


JAcK has the spirit of the victim inside him and will come alive tonight to seek vegance from the owner of the knife........

Mwuu ha ha ha ha haaa. Happy Halloween

Seasons

Voting for the favourite season turned up Summer as the winner with Football in second place. Does Football count as a winter/autumn vote though?

Spring ----19%
Summer --33%
Autumn ---14%
Winter -----10%
Football ---24%

One of the things I love about living in Britain is that we have real seasons. The seasons are a mirror image of life itself.

Spring is fresh and young, full of life and sparkling.
Summer is warm for living and enjoying life to the full.
Autumn is when things start to fall apart but is truly beautiful while its happening.
Winter is the end. Cold and barren but with a cozy feel sometimes.

I have a few photos of some seasons from over here taken with my own camera.



Spring

Summer

Autumn

Winter

HNT # 15

How's your eyesight?

Happy HNT. If you don't know why there is a pornstar pose on my blog then check out the HNT pimp here.

Random Shite:
Goody Two Shoes - Adam & The Ants

No Fags Allowed

It's been decided by our Government that smoking will be banned in all pubs, clubs and indoor establishments in England and Scotland. I think the Scottish ban starts in a few months time.




The drip-drip effect of making smoking a nasty habit and dangerous has allowed a 'nanny state' to stop one of the social pleasures for some people.

I'm not saying I think smoking should be allowed around other people who don't want it. I just want to raise the question of a 'ban culture' being a dangerous route(rowt/root) to go down.

Banning things seems to be the answer to everything for some people. Stopping or changing peoples rights is not fair though. It's only a matter of time before they get around to banning something you enjoy.

The Government doesn't really want to stop smoking altogether. The revenue the British Government gets form smoking far outweighs the healthcare costs. They cannot afford for everyone to stop smoking.

It is more dangerous for people to walk in the street with exhaust fumes being breathed than it is for them to smoke or breathe in smoke.

I do understand that a lot of people welcome this ban. Smoking can leave clothes smelly and damage your health. Like a typical Libra, I'm not sure where I stand.

Random Shite:
The Handsome Life of Swing - Lostprophets

The English Language # 423

A question for my American friends.... If this (routine) is pronounced Rooteen then how can this (route) be Rowt?

In the mother country this (route) says root.

...not that I am anal or anything!!

Random Shite:
Mean Woman Blues - Roy Orbison

Tossers

I haven't got much today. Sorry. Just a thought for Arsenal's Robert Pires and Thierry Henry.....
It's a twelve yard shot at goal... shoot it!!!! What possible way does your tricked up penalty give you an added advantage? Arsenal should have dropped some points after that embarrasment but they got away with it.

If you don't know the story then I won't bore you. Check it out here

Random Shite :
Jump - Van Halen

Space..The final front ear

The next World War could be fought over the moon. You may have seen the Chinese rocket that recently launched two men around the earth. China's ultimate goal is to land on the moon. President Bush recently announced that America was going to start moon landings again.

Why the interest in the moon again? I hear you ask.
Well it seems that scientist believe a Helium Isotype is abundant up there and I heard the BBC report that this Helium 3 could be the answer to the Earths fuel problems.
Apparently a bath-tub of Helium 3 would be enough to power Britain for a whole year.
The complete supply could keep the Earth running for 10,000 years. read more here .

...I think this new 'Space Race' to the moon could prove to be a new catalyst for conflict here on Earth. Who will get to 'own' the moon first. America has been there first but if the Chinese can get set up and established will they want to claim it all for themselves.

For those people who claim the Iraq war is all about oil then this new battle for Helium 3 could spell out the end for our future generations. On the other hand the world might get together in peace and harmony to harvest this future power supply. Hmmm....what do you think?

The poll result this week was close:
NASA's Space Program is....
...important --------------------23%
...a waste of money ---------23%
...essential for the future--- 23%
...trippy man------------------- 31%

Random Shite:
Open Arms - Journey

HNT # 14

The cold Autumn weather is here so I thought I'd revisit Summer with a sandy beach pose.

The hair is wild, the shoulders burnt but Big Dipper is Half Nekkid.


It's the only picture I have that qualifies for HNT so it'll have to do. *note to self.. must take more Nekkid pictures of myself*

Happy HNT everyone and if you don't know what it is all about then go see the Boss.

Random Shite :
Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down

Racism in Soccer

There was a documentary that aired in the US recently on ESPN2 about racism in football(soccer). The online radio I listen to, The Ticket in Dallas, were discussing the program. If you can listen to it then give it a go. I have posted it but I know a lot of people can't listen to some media.



The astonishment by the Ticket guys made me realise that because we have grown up with the problem then we, in this country, seem to take it for granted that it happens. Yes, we throw our hands in the air and denounce it for what it is. We also brush it off some times as rivalry getting out of hand.

The program discussed the fact that in the 70's and 80's black players were subjected to 'monkey chants' and had bananas thrown at them. Only a few months ago, Spain hosted a game against England and blasted our black players with the same monkey chants and abuse.

The American sports journalists were claiming that Europeans are regarded as forward thinking liberals and the USA is thought to have racial problems. This would, however, never be tolerated in the U.S. It would never happen at an NFL or NBA game. We are shocked too but because we have seen it so often we are de-sensitised to it a little bit and don't realise how aborrant the rest of the world see it.

What fascinated me was the Ticket guys, Bob and Dan, were amazed that Spanish people would be racist because, in their eyes, Spanish people are a different race. In Britain we see continental Europeans as 'white' and of the same race. It's funny that Texans think Spainards are not white because of Mexico.

Racism is very wrong and I think the players should walk off the pitch. It was 10 years ago that Eric Cantona launched into the crowd with a 'kung-fu' kick because of the abuse he was getting for being French. I think the black players show great dignity at something that must hurt them a lot.

With the World Cup next year, let's hope that the bigotted, facist element of the fans keep away.

Random Shite :
No Surface All Feeling - Manic Street Preachers

Fear

This video is for New Zealand Paul and all the other Kiwis who may stop by.

The All Blacks are the New Zealand rugby side and are awesome at it too. Would you want one of these guys running at you, full pelt, and you have to tackle him... nah, didn't think so. Judging by Paul's HNT this week, I don't think the big guy would have a problem with upending them though.

Random Shite:

Lost in France - Bonnie Tyler

Keith Urban gig

Keith Urban - Hammersmith Apollo(Odeon)
October 14, 2005


The journey begins up the M2 motorway















Canary Wharf - East London





The Millenium Dome where North Greenwich Tube Station is situated.
£5 for parking is not bad at all.






Barriers to the Underground.





All change at Westminster Tube station.











Destination Hammersmith, West London.






Coffee and tickets before the show.







Hammersmith Apollo, formerly, Hammersmith Odeon.




Keith Urban came out Rocking










The only gig I've been to where a banjo has been used!





It was a fantastic gig. There was a great light show and video display. It's the first country gig I have been to, hence the first banjo I have seen played in anger.
Keith Urban is a rock based country artist and reminds me a lot of Bryan Adams, who he toured with earlier this year.

It was a strange experiance to hear all the female voices singing along and cheering. There were so many women at the gig. They had dragged their men along but it was evident that the guys were not that familiar with Mr Urban's work because it was the girls voices that screamed out the words when Keith asked them to sing along.

It was like being at an Under 18 International Football match where the majority of the crowd are kids screaming.

The other observation I made was the amount of mobile phones illuminating the front few rows of people. They were all snapping away or video-ing the gig on their phones.
The cell phone is the 'new' cigarrette lighter. Waved along in the air while the gig goes on.

Keith Urbans sore throat held up well and the gig was one of the best I have seen. Well worth checking out if you get a chance. Yee Harr!

It's my birthday today and my profile has changed to, the 'all-too-real', 38 years old.
Another day nearer eternity and another digit closer to 40. *sigh*

Random Shite:
Gypsy Road - Cinderella

Porn

Anyone with an online computer would have stumbled across some form of porn. I say stumbled, most people actively look for it because it is an obvious turn-on.
Back in the day, porn had to be bought from newsagents or sex shops. Seedy shops that sold videos in Soho were no-go areas due to the crime rate around them. Most of us had to go to the top shelf of the newsagents for magazines and embarrassingly pay the shop owner without making eye contact. It was a very stressful experience.

In the last 5 or 6 years the broadband revolution has exploded and pictures and videos of people having sexual relations has been readily available on the internet.
I have seen things in the last 5 years that I never saw outside my own bedroom and plenty that I had not seen there either. The internet has also opened the world up to all sorts of other images too. Death, suicide, beastiality, murder. It really is frightening what our youth can get access to. Censorship seems a good idea when I think what my son may be able to watch from his PC.

Sex and porn are the least of my worries but it does make me think what effect some of the pornographic images would have had on me as a teenager. Would it have damaged me to see these things? Would I have become desensetized to nakedness? I remember being excited by the sight of a braless T-Shirt or female tennis players panties flashing when they served.
It was an innocent excitement. Nowadays the excitement will be driven by images af erections, penetration and orgasms.
*sigh* How things change. What will be acceptable or available when our grandchildren are growing up?

My poll result this week was:

Internet Porn is..
..handy ------------47%
..disgusting--------- 0%
..dangerous ---------0%
..fun to watch ------21%
..degrading---------- 5%
..they have porn
on the internet??--- 26%

We are off to see Keith Urban tonight in London. I will post a review Monday. He is a very sexy guy so I am anticipating a good time when I get home. *tee hee*

Random Shite :
Muscle Museum - Muse

HNT # 13

This weeks Half Nekkid Thursday is dedicated to the Dallas Cowboys.
A whole can of whoop-ass was opened on Philly at the weekend.

The Eagles no.1 offense were held to just 129 yards while the Cowboys notched 456 yards without having to punt in the first three quarters.

Bring on the New York 'Football' Giants this week.

Happy HNT y'all

I'd like to take an opportunity to thank the mighty Osbasso, King of HNT.
If it wasn't for Os then Thursdays would be just a day too far from the weekend to be exciting.
His fertilization of Half Nekkid Thursdays has sprouted to a phenomena that many enjoy taking part in as well as viewing.
Thank you Osbasso you nekkid, musical genius.

Random Shite :

Open Fire - Y&T

Mmm! Crisps

After looking at Rob's post about potato chips or crisps as they are really called in the English language .I realised that we are blessed with a variety of crisp flavours compared with the U.S.








We take for granted the choice we have. There are some 'tricked up' flavours like Slow Roasted Lamb and Mint most of them are delish.


I'm sure the makers just play around with flavouring and then decide what the taste will be named.

Here are a few British favourites :

Salt And Vinegar
Beef and Onion
Prawn Cocktail
Cheese and Onion
Heinz Ketchup
Sausage and Ketchup
Worcester Sauce
Pickled Onion
Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar
Scampi and Lemon
Bacon
Ham and Mustard
Chicken
Sweet Chilli
Curry

They even made Monster Munch ( a maise snack in the shape of a monsters claw) in Vanilla flavour. Now that was wierd because you expect spicy from your Monster Munch but got sweet. It was like eating sweet, vanilla popcorn

If you get to come to the UK then check out our lovely crisps. If you ask for chips you'll get fries.

.

If you are the person from Canada who searched MSN for "how to diddle very young" and found my site and you return then here is a special message for you ......Sod off perv. If you cannot prove the search is innocent then you are not welcome here.

Also , the person who searched for "how big is robbie williams penis", I hope you found out. Just remember he sings about being a 'Better Man'.

Random Shite :

Tyketto - Walk on Fire

Lessons in the Male Ego # 1

Ladies, to boost your mans ego you will be aware that he will be sensitive about the size of his manhood.
There are times when you are genuinely impressed and times when you are just... satisfied.
The times you are disappointed are best kept to yourself.



It is always good for the male ego when your woman looks up at you and says
"Wow, your *insert penis name* is very big..."





Your man will naturally question .."very big". He has most probably seen Jake the Snake(made up porn star) servicing inflated boobed Barbie dolls with his large appendage somewhere on the inter-web.
".. do you really think it's big?" will be his response.

Under no circumstances..... that's NO circumstances reply the following
"Oh yeah baby.. It's really big.. I should know.... I've had loads."

Random Shite :
JJ72 - October Swimmer

In the name of the Father

By Guardian Unlimited
George Bush has claimed he was on a mission from God when he launched the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, according to a senior Palestinian politician in an interview to be broadcast by the BBC later this month, writes Ewen MacAskill.

Mr Bush revealed the extent of his religious fervour when he met a Palestinian delegation during the Israeli-Palestinian summit at the Egpytian resort of Sharm el-Sheikh, four months after the US-led invasion of Iraq in 2003.

One of the delegates, Nabil Shaath, who was Palestinian foreign minister at the time, said: "President Bush said to all of us: 'I am driven with a mission from God'. God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did."

Mr Bush went on: "And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East'. And, by God, I'm gonna do it."

Does anyone else find this as disturbing as I do?

33-10 .. Job done.
Sorry Blonde

Happy Independance Day(*edit *Thangsgiving) Canada. As I said to Peter, In England a Canadian is American unless he/she is French. Simplistic ignorance? but hey, you probably call Welsh people English all the time.

Random Shite:
Aerosmith - My Fist Your Face

It's ironic that it's not ironic.. I think?

* This post is all my own work, except for the picture. I have since seen the same views expressed elsewhere. I have not used their thoughts. I wrote this before I read them *

It always bothered me that Alanis Morrisette's song, Ironic, has lyrics that fail to define irony.
Ok,ok.. so it's pedantic and petty to worry too much about this sort of thing but, hell... what's a blog for if you can't reveal your pettiness now and again?

My Poll was running all week asking -
Isn't it Ironic, don't you think?
You answered in your tens

Yes - 33%
No - 17%
Wha? - 50%

Ironic humour. She isn't really dead.

"Irony is a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result."
The New Oxford English Dictionary

An old man turned ninety-eight,
He won the lottery and died the next day.
Sad, but not ironic... He was 98 for goodness sake and a lottery win could easily send him over the edge.

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
Flys drop into drink all the time..not ironic

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
That's just plain bad luck.

And isn't it Ironic...dontcha think?
Err...no


It's like rain on your wedding day
May be ironic if you were a meteorologist and booked the date of the wedding especially because you didn't think it would rain.

It's a free ride when you've already paid
Now that is just annoying..

It's the good advice that you just didn't take
.. and that is bad judgement.

Who would've thought... it figures
Wha?


Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice.."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think?
Well seeing as you ask again, I personally say... no.
Apart from the obvious criticism of the lyrics over the "..isn't this nice" line. I mean, I think I would have a word that begins with 'Sh' and ends with 'hit' running through my mind at that point.
But, hey.. apart from that, he expected it to happen because he was afraid to fly.. therefore, not ironic.


A traffic jam when you're already late
Once again bad luck but not irony

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
Ooo, this might be ironic but there are no-smoking signs everywhere now-a-days. Smokers expect to be stopped from smoking and so maybe not ironic. Close... but no cigar *cringe*

It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
DO... ME... A... FAVOUR... She's wasting my time now.

It's meeting the man of your dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
A man of your dreams is bound to be attractive to other women so therefore probably not single.. This is not irony, it is once again, unlucky.

It's just one of those little things that annoys me for no real reason other than it annoys me. A bit like the fact matches in The Davis Cup tennis tournaments are called 'Rubbers'.
That annoys the HELL out of me but I can see it is wasted energy.

I need to chill...
Get me my woman....have her washed and sent to my tent.

Random Shite:
Hey Mama - Kanye West

HNT # 12

Half Nekkid Thursday # 12
These, my friends, are not my purdy feet but they belong to my Sooz.

All you shoe fetish peeps will notice how pretty and flowery the flip flops are.



If Sooz were to choose between shoes and me
Sooz would choose shoes,
'cause they're prettier, see.

If I had to choose between shoes and Sooz,
as to which one is prettier
then shoes would lose.






What do you call a French man wearing sandals?........
Philleep Ferlopp.

This Video is so great. It was made by Karmagrrrl and is Green Day's, Wake Me Up When September Ends with footage of Hurricane Katrina. It is very moving. The amazing Barbara Bush quote at the end just seems even more ridiculous once you've viewed this.
You may need Quicktime to view it.
*A fast connection is needed and you may have to restart the video several times by clicking on it. Be patient. It is worth it.*

Random Shite :
Brown Girl in the Ring - Boney M

I dreamt I was a reporter.

Mr President...
......Mr President!
Can I ask your thoughts on the fact that the rest of the world thinks your policy on global warming is helping contribute to natural disasters?...... Oh, I see...
OK. Thankyou Mr President.

Random Shite:
I'd Die for You - BonJovi

The closest I've come to death...so far

* Warning - This post went on longer than I planned *

It was coming up to Easter 1998. I had turned 30 a while back and I was going through a crisis of confidence regarding my health. My dad had died when I was young from heart failure and I felt I was now 'old' because I wasn't in my twenties anymore. Also my son was the same age as I was when my dad died so I was feeling fragile.

I went for a check-up at the doctors just to make sure I was OK. I am a man who doesn't go to doctors. I'll tough it out, if I can, so the fact I was there with nothing wrong with me was a sign of my worry.

He took a blood sample, something I had never had happen to me before....ever! He listenend to my heart and did all the other stuff needed to check me out. He told me he would send the blood away and contact me at a later date but he was sure I was healthy. Yay.

I left the Health Centre and went to get Fish n Chips. The shop owner said 'How are you today?' and I replied 'I'm fine... and it's official.... I AM fine'.

I drove from there to McDonalds to get my son a Happy Meal and whilst in the drive-thru I came over very dizzy and felt extremely weak. My leg started shaking and I started to panic at my sudden and rapid decline. I just had to get home and stop driving. By the time I got there I was shaking uncontrollably and sweating. What the hell was wrong with me?

The next morning I went to work even though I was in utter meltdown. I rang the Health Centre with the ludicrous question ' Would taking a blood test make me feel like this?' I honestly thought a syringe of blood may have triggered my weakness. By 10.30 the receptionists at work, had told my boss that I looked like death and I should go home. My boss rang me and insisted I went to the doctors, so off I went for the second time in 24 hours. This time I was shaking, sweating and so weak.

I couldn't see my own doctor at short notice so another one agreed to see me. He took a urine sample and told me to go home and rest. 'You have flu' He told me. I stayed in bed all day and all night.

When I woke in the morning my right leg had turned purple. When I pointed it downward (never mind put any weight on it) I was in agony. WTF!! I stayed in bed and my (then) wife brought me cups of tea and biscuits. The hairdresser came around to do her hair. He was a family friend and when he saw me he insisted I went to the doctors again. 'It's clearly not flu' he pointed out. 'Get to the emergency doctors straight away'.

It had to be emergency doctors because it was now Good Friday and the Health Centre was shut. With a huff and a puff, my (then) wife took me to the on-call doctors. As soon as they saw my leg then they were in no doubt I had to get over to the hospital, immediately.

At the hospital they kept me waiting for about an hour and then transferred me to a cubicle. My wife was phobic of hospitals so I let her go home. It was 3 hours later ( I still felt like crap) when a consultant entered the cubicle.
He looked at my leg....
looked at my foot....
saw a sceptic toenail I had going on....
Pointed at it and said
'There's the problem, you have sceptisemia(blood poisoning).
That could kill you'...
and with that, he was gone.

I was left for another hour, alone, and panicking at the wonderful 'bed-side-manner' of the pompous git who told me my little toe might kill me.

In the space of two days I had gone form 'paranoid 30 year old' - to - deaths door - via - 'you have flu'.
I was eventually put into the ward for people waiting for operations. There were no beds free in the rest of the hospital.
Because it was Easter the operations were 'on hold' and so there were spare beds in the operations ward. Also, because it was Easter, there was very few staff on duty. I had a drip of anti-biotics pumped into me and more blood taken than Dracula would need.
To think, I hadn't had any blood taken before!

My fever and the morphine was making me crazy. I was convinced the nurses were making noises on purpose to keep me awake. The consultants would not see me and give me any news of my progress until after Easter Sunday so I was also convinced they were going to let me die. I couldn't move because of my inflated, purple leg. I was in such a state.

It took three or four weeks to get fully better. Needless to say, I was back at work within a week. Now that is dedication for you. The only other time I have had off work in 20 years was when my jaw was broken. That's a story for another day.

That my friends is the story of how I came close to death.
The End

Random Shite:
The Best of Times - Styx

Picture lists

I saw this idea the other day and have forgotton who to give credit to. If it is you please comment.
*** Update - It was Kalani here that I saw it ****
You Google search images for
1. Place you grew up
2. Place you live now
3. Your name
4. Favourite drink
5. Favourite smell

Then you choose the first or your favourite image and post it.

Place I grew up











Place I live now











My name










Favourite drink










Favourite smell

Today's Random Shite:
Hello - Lionel Richie