I got Game

We are off to the American Ailines Centre tonight to watch the Dallas Mavericks play. Yay!
Suzy bought me tickets for Christmas to match the Cowboy tickets she got me last year.

It's gonna be great. I've never been to a basketball game before, I'm so excited.

This was the view on Christmas morning. Beautiful sun through Pecan trees. It turned out to be 70 degrees and like a summer day.

Santa Claus is coming..

A question for all the Americans amongst you...

Why do you add the tax onto prices after you purchase them? We have 17.5% tax added into the price of goods in Britain and so when it says on the label, 30 pounds (damn American keyboard doesn't have a pound sign on it!) then it means 30 pounds.
Here in America, if the tag says $20 then that means you pay something stupid, like $21.32 (whatever) and you get bucket loads of coins as change.
The American economy could benefit from having tax worked into the prices so that if you buy something from a dollar shop it actually costs a dollar! and you don't have to make so many quarters and dimes to give people in change.

Anywho.. Merry Christmas y'all and I'll see you on the other side of a huge turkey dinner. We bought our own crackers (not familiar with crackers? I'll tell ya later) They don't sell crackers in Texas so we risked smuggling explosives(!) onto the plane.

Baby, It's Cold Outside.

It's 74 degrees F here in Texas and we chose the hot day to travel to the Gaylord Texan Hotel to see 'Ice' , a collection of ice sculptures kept in 9 below zero temperatures. It was very impressive and the hotel is so big... Evertything bigger in Texas.










We went to see King Kong. He dies in the end.... which is just as well because for one minute, there, it looked like we were heading for a beastiality flick!

Shopping til I'm dropping.

Christmas countdown continues. The sun is out today. There is a real drought here in this part of Texas.
There has only been 0.08" of rain in the Dallas area and the authorities are on fire alert.

It rained yesterday but that was just light derrr-rizzle.
We went to Best Buy and Target yesterday and a shopping mall the day before.

It amazes me how 'empty' the shops are. Compared with English shops in the run up to Christmas, the mall are quite. It is much more fun shopping here at Xmas time than in hustling, bustling England.
I'm sure as I speak that there are cases of trolley-rage hitting the UK as the tension heats up at home.

Have a nice day, y'all.

Lazy Sunday

It was a catch-up weekend. Catch up on sleep.
Saturday night we went to visit some friends of Jim. Jim lives with Suzy's mum and it was his son-in-laws suprise birthday in Colleyville, North of Fort Worth.

It was weird going to a suprise party for someone you don't know. We ended up chatting 'soccer', Royal Family and having to dispell the myth that 'Rock School' with Gene Simmons was a true reflection on UK education.

I spent all day Sunday watching NFL. The Cowboys put in a stinko performance and I wished I'd gone with Suzy to watch Narnia at the cinema.

Off to the Mall today. The weather is grey and chilly.... just like home. A truly hospitable welcome by the Texans......supplying British weather for us, how kind of them.

Yee Harr!!

I have arrived safe and sound. The jet-lag has been taken care of with an 11 hour sleep-fest.

On the plane I watched Goal, which is a slightly cheesy football film set in Newcastle and involves an inconcievable rags to riches story. Big Dipper Star rating ***

The 40 yearold Virgin was laugh out loud funny but with a lot of swearing and heavy sex references, including beastiality, it did make me wonder what would happen if the kids weren't able to sit within censoring distance of us. BD stars = ****

Then I watched Batman Begins which was... ho hum. Better than some Batman films but not my cup of tea really. BD stars = ***

I didn't watch Mrs Hendersons Presents or A Cinderella Story. The latter being praised by Sooz as a great film which, for a boxing film, must have been good to get her vote. Sooz Stars = *****

The DFW new International Terminal is very impressive. Absolutely huge but .. empty. Because it was so large it seems like our plane was the only arrival in one of the largest airports in the country.

The taxi driver was a Matthew McMCounaghy sound-a-like. He was very entertaining and a very laid back soul who was dreaming of winning the lottery and chilling out by the coast.
He promised that whoever was in his viechle when he found out he wins would be very lucky people. Needless to say he the good news never filtered through.

I'm leaving on a jetplane...

Off to DFW tomorrow morning so this is my last post before I get to the Land of the Free(refills).

I'm not keen on flying. Hurtling through the air at 600mph in a tube for 10 hours is not my idea of fun but hey.... it's better than hurtling through the air in a tube at 900mph towards the ground for 2 minutes!

I'll see y'all on the other side.. of the pond

My Next Purchase

I'm thinking of getting one of these keyboards....
If they can just get a mouse I can easily use with my left hand then I'm sorted.

Texas Xmas

God's own country.... I'm on my way.

Heading out to Texas this Friday. A Texas Ex-mas at the mother-in-laws.

She is a very kind lady who is very generous to us. She is always pleased to see her grand-children (Suzy's kids)

My children stay with their mum back here in England. It makes my heart sink that I don't get to see them around Christmas. We will have them to stay over when we get back and they can have some great American prezzies that we bring back for them.


Anyway y'all. Keep an eye out for pictures of our Texas Christmas and blogging from America.

You may have noticed.... I'M BACK.

I installed a wireless ADSL Router at work so I am able to get blogging when times are slack. This time of year it is VERY slack. *yawn*

Blog Slacker

Hi, People. x

Sorry I have been neglecting the blog. I have a wireless ADSL connection to set up at work. Just waiting for the line to be Broadbanded. Soon buddies...soon.

It's all go at work...not as bad as I thought but very hectic at times.

I'll get blogging again soon.... promise

Stay Hard

Ice, ice baby

I went ice-skating this weekend.
It was part of Joe's, Sooz's youngest, birthday suprise.

They have set an ice rink up in Somerset House, London.
It is outside but luckily the snow and rain held off.



I can't skate but by the end of the hour I had fallen just twice, the second time a spectacular controlled flat-on-my-back fall.
I was moving well in the end. It frustarates me that I can't do something so I kept practising and figured, as long as I didn't lean backwards then I was fairly safe. It worked and I was quite proud of myself in the end.



Work is almost set-up now. I just need the broadband to make it half acceptable. The other half was left in beautiful Canterbury. I am missing it a lot. Ho and indeed, Hum.

I'm Alive

Hi Blogging buddies and other wonderful, lovely people who read this.

I have set up in my new work place but still no Broadband so this blog is really suffering. Sorry.

I'll leave you with a joke and hopefully I will be back Half Nekkid next week.

Two elephants fell off a cliff.... Boom, Boom!

Busy Bee

No time to Blog people. I'm a very busy guy at the moment...
A busy guy without a computer at work yet and no broadband anyway.

I'll check in now and again but it could be quiet this week

Well Done New Zealand... I knew they would beat England in the Rugby. I just had to trash talk to keep Paul on his toes.
Great team you have there.

My Favourite Job 1986 - 2006

In the grand scheme of things then my pain today is small.

In the "one-day-we-will-all-be-dust-and-the-Earth-will-crash-into-the-Sun" kinda thinking, then leaving a place where you have spent 20 years of your adult life is slightly insignificant, but....

I have been making spectacles in a small laboratory in Canterbury, Kent. I am being moved to the Opticians practice where I will have to meet 'the Public' and work with other people. I have grown used to working on my own-some. It's gonna be a drag.

There are some pictures of my lair on this post. I know it looks a mess but it's MY mess and to my eyes, a work of art. Click on the pictures for a closer look.

The place is more like a 'bachelor pad' in the way I have been able to put posters up and keep my 'junk' lieing around.

I have spent more waking hours there than any other place on Earth. There are notches on the wall where I measured my children's height after they visit me at work from time to time.




The radio has played a big part in my working day.
I started in 1986 listening to Simon Mayo on Radio 1's breakfast show with a crackly AM reception (in those days Radio 1 was on AM) and finished in 2006 listening to him on Radio Five over the internet.
Simon Bates and 'Our Tune' was the next show on and Steve Wright made the afternoon's a joy.
Then Danny Baker on Radio Five was the entertainment de la jour. He left and I found Tommy Boyd on Talk Radio (later Talk Sport) to be great fun.
In the last year or so I have been entertained by The Muser's on Dallas Sport Radio- The Ticket over the Internet.


I have seen many things happen in my life here.
I have been married.
I've seen my boss have two more children to add to his oldest.
I have passed my driving test and bought a car.
I have been to college day-release courses and qualified to make glasses.
I have had two beautiful children.
I have seen a total eclipse of the sun.
I heard 9/11 happen here over the radio
I have broken my jaw(I must do that story one day) and my leg.
I have had a very dark day here which I will not tell.
I 've had an affair here.
I have been divorced and set up home with Sooz
My children have been to stay here during days off school.
I have slept here several times after my affair and some rows.


I look around me now and I can feel tears welling up as I think back to how things were when I started here.
I can tell you that Time Travel is possible... in your mind.

Memory should be classed as an emotion.

BTW. The long awaited Rugby match between New Zealand(All Blacks) and England(World Champions..yep Paul, still the best in the World. Official) is this weekend.

HNT # 18

Pucker up for a kiss goodbye to the end of an era.

I am leaving my workplace for the last 20 years tommorrow and tears will fall.

It's been a blast.

Half Nekkid Central is here. Check it out

Gamesmanship

There's a fine line between 'cheating' and some tactics.
The Philedelphia Eagles have huge 'big screens' right between the goalposts and they cover almost all of the end-zone. (I have seen them in my Playstation game... how sad am I?)

It was confirmed by a reporter, who was at the recent Cowboys v Eagles game, that when the Eagles kicker is lining up a field-goal there is a black screen with a small Eagles logo for him to aim at between the posts.

When the opposition are taking their kick then the screen, which fills the kickers vision when he lines up the kick, is filled with a close-up, zoomed in shot of the kickers face.

There's a saying over here - "It's just not Cricket" which just about covers what I feel about that.

Pub Crawl

A tour of some Canterbury pubs for Paul.
Trust him to notice the lack of bars in my previous post.

Fancy a Pint?

I will miss the Old Place

I have been told that the place where I have worked for 20 years is moving.
Now.... the Big Dipper is not a guy who likes change and so this whole "20 years and now for something completely different" vibe is not floating my boat..... In fact it is down-right depressing me.

My work venue is changing, my work description is changing, the whole working-on-your-own thing that I love is changing.... Did I mention I hate change?

Worst of all.... I have to meet and greet the 'General Public'. Aaaarrrrrgghh!!!

I am also moving away from Canterbury, the city I have seen blossom from a 1970's dump to a fantastic tourist and shopping area.
I have seen so many changes in this place since childhood. But the little workshop I work in has hardly changed at all. *sigh*.
I'm going to miss Canterbury. *big sigh*

Here is a picture tour for y'all.
Americans beware... there are buildings pictured here older than your Nation.

In the shadow of Canterbury Catherdral is my 'lair'

When I see this I know I am nearly at work.

The 'Crooked House' on the corner of the road I work in.

The Sun Hotel has been a jewellers for more than the 20 years I have worked here. There was an armed robbery in the 90's. I seem to remember that the owner was shot.

Canterbury Cathedral Gate.

Ye Olde Starbucks, next to the Catherdral Gate. It used to be ye olde Pizzaland and before that I think it was an empty shell with shabby curtains covering the windows. It was also a hotel and still has some rooms available today.

Canterbury is full of small alleys. This is alongside Gap and has several places to eat along it.

Canterbury's newest resturant. Cafe Rouge, opened last month. Notice the temporary Rememberance monument wear you can place a Poppy cross to remember those fallen in the wars.

The 'Golden Archs' sit in the 1970's part of town. The horrible flat roofed buildings will be rebuilt one day.

The ClockTower is part of a church which was destroyed by bombs during WW2. The Luftwaffe would fly back from having bombed London and empty the bombs they had left on parts of Kent. The Tower is the only bit of history left standing here.

Now we are close to the newest part of the city. this is the department store Fenwicks, formerly Ricemans. This is the start of the Whitefriars shopping complex. The whole area was part of an archaelogical dig before it was built. Because of Canterbury's historic past then the law states that any new developments must have an excavation before it can continue. Several discoveries were made over the course of a couple of years. Find out more here

The new Whitefriars shopping centre.

In a bizarre twist of irony, we have Virgin nextdoor to Ann Summers sex shop.

The Marlowe Arcade

Heading back into the High Street, the cathedral can be seen from most places.

Moving back to the cathedral gates, lunchtime is over. I will not get to see these sights next week.

I will miss the old place.

There have been some great, great memories here. *sigh*

I will be very busy this week so I will post when I can. Sorry that it has been a long post but I hope you enjoyed some of the sights. I have more images and will share them later.

Remember Them

"They shall not grow old as we who are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
WE WILL REMEMBER THEM."

It is November 11th and those that gave the ultimate sacrifice and those who are giving that same sacrifice today, are remembered by us, the people they fought for to keep this world free.

We should never forget the men and women who die for us. They are put in situations that we would consider to be hell on earth. No matter where you stand on the war debate, you have to respect the fighters who are risking and giving their lives so we do not have to.

During the World Wars the general public were called upon to fight for their country. How many of us would be willing to jump into that Spitfire cockpit or set sail in warships to risk being burnt to death or drowning?

The British Legion sell Poppies for us to wear to remember the fallen soldiers. The Poppy is a flower of the fields in France where the mud and blood ran together during World War 1.

"In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the gun below."
John McCrae
(1872-1918)

There were some terrible decisions to be made during these wars. Many men were forced to take the life of another human so they could live. I am filled with respect for the veterans of WW1 and WW2 who, today, return to the graves of their fallen comrades and are full of forgiveness for their German counterparts.

I can only imagine the thoughts that some of these 80 year old gentlemen are thinking as they stand in silence today for 2 minutes at 11am.
They must re-live all the life they have lived and grieve for their friends and colleagues who fell at such a young age, never to see the things they have.

No matter what political viewpoint you have, Please Remember the brave men and women who gave their lives so we can live the life we have today.

The poll this week asked -

Would you fight for your Country :

Hell yeah -------------31%
No ---------------------19%
I don't know----------50%

HNT # 17

Read 'em and weep...




One is sad and the other sparkling...
Guess which one is looking at you.

Happy HNT peepholes.

Check out Osbasso for some more Nekkidness

Random Shite:

Little Goodbyes - SheDaisy

Egg Chasing

The All Blacks, New Zealand Rugby team started their tour of Britain with an impressive performance (eventually) against Wales.

Some of you visitors to this and Paul's Blog will be aware of the Haka, the dance the All Blacks perform before the game to intimidate their opponents.

Some are... err ... let's say ...turned on by it, eh Kalani?

Well the English have been practising their own aggresive dance to answer the mighty Haka.

Powered by Castpost



Check it out and compare it with the (lame) New Zealand effort. :)
If you computer can cope then play them both at the same time....
err Good Luck to England, I think we might need it!

Random Shite :
One Minute Man - Missy Elliott

Run to the Hills

I was wondering... Do any Native American Indians sit around moaning about all the people in their country who don't speak the language?

Random Shite :
Breathless - The Corrs

I Have Nothing

"Buy Nothing Day" is coming up soon.

I don't know who is behind it but sounds like a good idea to me.

Random Shite :
Little Bit Lonely - Billy Currington

Penny for the Guy?

Tomorrow night is Guy Fawkes night.

To celebrate the fact that Parliment survived being blown up in 1606 then we blow up stuff ourselves.

Bonfire night, Firework night... whatever you want to call it , British people have been braving the chilled, autumn wind and rain since childhood to celebrate the failure of a Middle Ages Catholic Terrorist.



When we were young we used to build 'Guys' and take then around houses asking '..penny for the Guy?'
Stuffed clothes and papermache heads for your Guy. He was often put in push-chairs and taken around the neighbourhood.
Nobody does it these days due to the increase in popularity of Halloween.

There was also the gruesome act of throwing your Guy onto the bonfire... Parents encouraging burning Catholic effiges!... it seemed right at the time.

The fireworks that go off constantly for two weeks cause the emergancy services a major headache. Fireworks on sale in superstores for anyone to buy (over18) is a bad idea. Every year there are stories of dogs and cats having fireworks tied to their tails. Fireworks through letterboxes and burnt children are also increased during these few days.


We went to a scouts display the other day and one of the fireworks flew off at a right angle over the kids heads and exploded 6 feet off the ground. Another didn't take off and exploded on the ground.

I don't think members of the public should be allowed access to explosives. We will go to the big display at the local beach tomorrow. It will be big and flashy . More importantly it will be safe.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November. Gunpowder, treason and plot.

The poll this week was
Fireworks are..

..cool -----------------------67%
..a nuisance ---------------0%
..like burning money ---11%
..over-rated --------------11%
..dangerous --------------11%

Random Shite:
Our House - Madness

HNT # 16

Somewhere over the nipple

Happy HNT to everyone and if you don't have a clue what HNT is then go see The Wizard, Os

Random Shite:

Emily - Bowling for Soup

Easy Money

I am working on a project at the moment (news to follow) and it involves setting up a website.

I have got the bare bones sorted out. (any tips are welcome dipper@dsl.pipex.com )

It involves getting a domain name. I searched and found there are hundreds of places that offer to sell you blahblah.com.

Isn't this a bit like naming stars and charging for it? Who says these companies have domain names to sell you?
Bizarre.

Happy Indecisive Day.... I think! (see post below)

Random Shite :
Dog Eat Dog - AC/DC

The Brits are coming...

I recieved this the other day from Paul who shall remain nameless...err...ooops.
It is titled - An open letter from John Cleese. Whether it is from the legend himself, I doubt.

*EDIT - Thanks Lori for a more detailed list. I have updated it. *

Big Dipper disassociates himself from the comments but secretly smirks to himself.

A message from John Cleese to the citizens of the United States of America:

To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.

2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.

3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.

5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.

7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $7/US gallon, get used to it).

12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Random Shite:
Oh My God - Kaiser Chiefs

Happy All Hallows Eve

I work part-time as a soccer tournament organiser. One evening a ball was kicked out of the play area into some woods. I retrieved the ball only to find it had a 4 inch, serrated bladed knife sticking out of it. I brought the knife home with me and it has been in our kitchen drawer for over a year until, two nights ago, I had to carve the pumpkin for Halloween. I saw the knife and thought it looked ideal for the job.

Here is 'JAcK'. Take this warning dear reader. JAcK is evil.. You see, the knife used to carve him was used in a bloody murder and thrown into the very woods that I found it. The victim had their eyes carved out after the murderer had removed the inside of the poor souls head. His mouth was slit to produce a grizzly smile that haunted the police officers that made the gruesome discovery.


JAcK has the spirit of the victim inside him and will come alive tonight to seek vegance from the owner of the knife........

Mwuu ha ha ha ha haaa. Happy Halloween