We have strange traditions in Britain. Pantomime is one which, if I had time to explain would knock your socks off America. The other is sitting down in front of the TV every year to watch the absurdity that is - The Eurovision Song Contest.
It is a parade of European countries in ridiculous oufits with mad dance routines and retro-rock and pop melodies all performing to an audience Europe-wide who then tele-vote for the best. You can't vote for your own country.
This year the highlights included a middle-aged white rapper with Britney Spears look-a-likes prancing around for the UK.
A hellish Rock act of monsters from Finland who eventually won.
A bunch of suits from Latvia yelling ' we are the Winners of Eurovision, vote for us' as part of their lyrics with little regard for a tune.
My favourites were the Germans who had a nice little Country song and were dressed like Cowboys and reminded me of Chevy Chase, Steve Martin et al in the Three Amigos...... I did mention this was the German entry....Bizarre.
This is Daz Sampson, the UK's entry. Call me mad but I quite like it..... It's also strangely arousing.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Da Vinci Code
An article by Gordon Keith. Check out Gordo's website and his Columns at Dallas 'Quick' magazine
'Da Vinci Code' is so crazy, it just may work
By GORDON KEITH
Two years ago in a sunlit office on the West Coast ...
"Jennifer, could you send in Ron Howard please?" Bob turns to Pete. "Pete, you realize that this is Potsy, that little kid from Barney Griffith?"
"Really?" The two men settle into the couch under a Kandinsky print. "I'll be damned."
"Yeah. He's sensitive about it, so don't bring it up."
The door opens. Ron Howard is all smiles, buckteeth and bald head.
"Howard, good to see you! Sit down, sit down. Cocaine?"
"No thanks."
"Well, we have read the script for The Da Vinci Code, and we just love it. Don't we Bob?"
"Absolutely, Pete."
"Great stuff. Really great stuff," Bob says. "Now, we haven't really read the script, but we are familiar with your other films. Why don't you tell us what this one is about?"
Ron Howard is a little taken aback. "It's about hidden clues in the paintings of Leonardo Da Vinci that point all the way back to a conspiracy surrounding Jesus Christ," he says.
"Perfect, just perfect! Who does Jesus kill to get the paintings back?" Bob says.
"No one," Ron says.
"OK. I see, I see. He has them stolen from Him! By who? Carjackers?" Pete asks.
"No. Jesus is simply the backdrop of a present day mystery set in Europe," Ron says.
"People have heard of Jesus, so we get some great name recognition right there," says Bob. "But –and this is just talking you understand – couldn't we make sure we have a few explosions in there?"
"Maybe from carjackers," Pete adds.
"Perfect Pete," says Bob, "and since Jesus is from the Middle East, we should definitely put some terrorists in there!"
"But hot terrorists. I'm thinking Heath Ledger, with Ashton Kutcher as a wisecracking sidekick. And they are after Jesus' paintings because they heard he dissed them at a party."
"Yes! A party for 9/11 victims."
"What?" Ron says.
"Or maybe, since he is Jesus and all, an orphanage party, but we need something a little more hip than Leonardo Divinci. I am just thinking out loud here, but how about Kayne West?"
"Perfect, Bob!" says Pete. "Kayne West is an artist, say from Detroit, but instead of painting, he raps! Jesus hears that hot terrorist carjackers are going to shut down the 9/11 orphanage in Detroit, so he has a rap-off with Kayne West to keep the orphanage going and get his paintings back."
"What do you think, Ron?"
"You're both out of your minds. In the book, Jesus marries Mary Magdalene and they have a child whose offspring exists in France today."
Bob and Pete stare at Ron, then each other.
"Come on now, Ron. Let's not get crazy."
'Da Vinci Code' is so crazy, it just may work
By GORDON KEITH
Two years ago in a sunlit office on the West Coast ...
"Jennifer, could you send in Ron Howard please?" Bob turns to Pete. "Pete, you realize that this is Potsy, that little kid from Barney Griffith?"
"Really?" The two men settle into the couch under a Kandinsky print. "I'll be damned."
"Yeah. He's sensitive about it, so don't bring it up."
The door opens. Ron Howard is all smiles, buckteeth and bald head.
"Howard, good to see you! Sit down, sit down. Cocaine?"
"No thanks."
"Well, we have read the script for The Da Vinci Code, and we just love it. Don't we Bob?"
"Absolutely, Pete."
"Great stuff. Really great stuff," Bob says. "Now, we haven't really read the script, but we are familiar with your other films. Why don't you tell us what this one is about?"
Ron Howard is a little taken aback. "It's about hidden clues in the paintings of Leonardo Da Vinci that point all the way back to a conspiracy surrounding Jesus Christ," he says.
"Perfect, just perfect! Who does Jesus kill to get the paintings back?" Bob says.
"No one," Ron says.
"OK. I see, I see. He has them stolen from Him! By who? Carjackers?" Pete asks.
"No. Jesus is simply the backdrop of a present day mystery set in Europe," Ron says.
"People have heard of Jesus, so we get some great name recognition right there," says Bob. "But –and this is just talking you understand – couldn't we make sure we have a few explosions in there?"
"Maybe from carjackers," Pete adds.
"Perfect Pete," says Bob, "and since Jesus is from the Middle East, we should definitely put some terrorists in there!"
"But hot terrorists. I'm thinking Heath Ledger, with Ashton Kutcher as a wisecracking sidekick. And they are after Jesus' paintings because they heard he dissed them at a party."
"Yes! A party for 9/11 victims."
"What?" Ron says.
"Or maybe, since he is Jesus and all, an orphanage party, but we need something a little more hip than Leonardo Divinci. I am just thinking out loud here, but how about Kayne West?"
"Perfect, Bob!" says Pete. "Kayne West is an artist, say from Detroit, but instead of painting, he raps! Jesus hears that hot terrorist carjackers are going to shut down the 9/11 orphanage in Detroit, so he has a rap-off with Kayne West to keep the orphanage going and get his paintings back."
"What do you think, Ron?"
"You're both out of your minds. In the book, Jesus marries Mary Magdalene and they have a child whose offspring exists in France today."
Bob and Pete stare at Ron, then each other.
"Come on now, Ron. Let's not get crazy."
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Just Like my Dreams..
The FA Cup Final 2006 - My heart was broken by Steven Gerrard in the last minute of normal time when he thumped in the equalising goal.
The strain my body goes through on these emotional and tense games is really unbelievable.
You have to experience it to believe the Passion that is flowing through your veins.
I suspect I have much more heartache to follow this June with the World Cup. Gerrard better perform like that for England. To make matters worse, his strike in the final seconds stopped me winning £100 from the bookies.
The strain my body goes through on these emotional and tense games is really unbelievable.
You have to experience it to believe the Passion that is flowing through your veins.
I suspect I have much more heartache to follow this June with the World Cup. Gerrard better perform like that for England. To make matters worse, his strike in the final seconds stopped me winning £100 from the bookies.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Come on you Irons
I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.
They fly so high,
they reach the sky
and like my dreams,
they fade and die.
Fortunes always hiding,
I looked everywhere.
I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.
C'MON YOU IRONS!!!!
West Ham United are in the FA Cup Final this Saturday.
I am sooooo excited. It's been 26 years since I last saw them in a major final.
There's been a lot happen in that time but my love for the Hammers will never die.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)