Wee Wie

News from England -

A plumber caught on camera relieving himself in a customer's loft has been fined and ordered to do 150 hours community service.
Roy Williams, 46, from East Grinstead, Sussex, was captured by hidden cameras urinating into a vase and pouring it into the water tank at a Surrey house.


It has been suggested that Mr Williams deserves some praise from the female world..... He managed to urinate into a vase when most men can't even hit a toilet bowl!!

Michelle Wie is a young, female golf prodigy that is threatening to compete with male players in the big golf tournaments of the world.

When I was in St Andrews recently, watching the British Open, I saw that Young Tom Morris won the Open in 1868 at the age of 17. In fact he competed in an Open when he was 14.

I commented that this would not happen again because no-one that young would be allowed to play. How wrong am I? Michelle Wie is 15 years old and they talking about her playing in Major male tournaments. Not only could a 15 year old play in a Major but it could be a girl! Mon Dieu!

Good luck to her and lets hope she can survive the hype.

A tornado hit Birmingham yesterday. We don't do tornadoes in England. As some Americans know a tornado is no laughing matter. Why then have all the press, including the BBC, been joking about "some bad weather..heehee" and "a mini tornado hit Birmingham" said in a dismissing voice.

There are thousands of people homeless, at least 12 people injured and a school was hit but luckily the children are on holiday.



If this had been a bomb that destroyed so many houses the smarmy, sniggering news anchormen wouldn't be so f-ing smug. Whilst it is unusual to see a tornado, the news reporters shouldn't treat it like a novelty. Tossers

HNT # 3

Half Nekkid Thursday # 3

Derr nerr.....derr nerr......der, der, der, der, der, der, der, der diddle derr...

Safe to go in the water...my arse!

This was taken underwater in Lake Senaca, New York State. It was fantastically warm and the water was very clear. Shark free as well, yay!

Iowa Jima?

I found a great picture here.
The Thing of the moment by Jeff Kirlin.

It made me smile because the famous Iowa Jima picture sprang to mind.

Compare :











2005













1941

Meesees

After yesterdays 'heavy' topic I thought I'd lighten the mood by asking the question - If the thing under your right(maybe left) hand is a mouse then what is the plural of that instrument?

Obviously a furry mouse and another furry mouse are mice. A computer mouse and another one have to be 'mouses'. To call them 'mice' just seems wrong. "I'm going to order some mice from Amazon" or "I'm going to order some mouses from Amazon"? You decide.... or not.......maybe you have a life that gets in the way of thinking about it.

Update : for help in your answer I have Google searched for mice and Google searched for mouses.

Everyone's at it so I got myself as a South Park character.
You can get one here. The only problem is you cannot save the picture so you have to take a screen shot and crop it. I downloaded a trial screenshot program after googling for one. I bet there is an easier way though.

Forbidden Subject

Disclaimer: I have absolutely no intention of upsetting or offending anyone. I just want to spout off. I respect everyones beliefs. I would never force my beliefs on anyone. I have just put them here in print for your assessment. I'm still not decided whether I believe in a God..go figure. I apologise if you are offended.


OK, Religion.. not a great subject to discuss without getting into a dispute or offending someone.
I was raised as a Catholic. It's a long story but basically my mum was made to promise to bring her children up as Catholics so she could marry my Catholic dad in a Catholic church. She still had to enter in the side door.

As an adult I now look on religion as a silly superstition that was setup to make humans tow-the-line and explain earth mysteries.
I do NOT believe in ghosts and spirits. I haven't seen them or evidence of them. I DO believe in the mind power that makes people think they have had paranormal experiences.

Consequently, I find it hard to believe there is an entity that watches and judges us. The Universe is such a mystery but, why do we have to find the answer in an almighty? In ancient times the people explained the sun and seasons with gods. We now know that the Earth revolves around the sun and the sun is a star made up of gases. If Egyptians dared to question the existence of Ra - the sun god then I am sure they would have been shouted down.

I believe Jesus existed. I know he is a figure of history. He was a freedom fighter and spoke of peace. I also know that humans put him to death because he claimed to be the Son of God. Exactly the same thing would happen today. If, lets say, Jim Carrey claimed he was the Messiah. People would dismiss him, ruin him and ridicule him. A religious nut shoots him and then 2000 years later he is lorded as the Saviour. I know I'm being ridiculous but look at the Elvis phenomena that surrounded his death. How many people claimed he was still alive? Back from the dead? I'm sure the disciples were as desperate, like Elvis fans were, to see their Messiah risen from the dead.

Anyway... that is all about Christianity and I am not just dismissing a belief system that has taken centuries to evolve.
The role that ALL religions play in the wars, conflicts and tortures of the world is a disgrace. The latest terrorist war is really a religious war. It is some fanatic factions of Islam that want to destroy the western world that drives the terrorists. It is not a Muslim v Christian situation but it is a religious ideal opposed to western culture that warps their crazy minds.

'Imagine there's no religion'...to paraphrase Mr Lennon.

The thought of an after-life is the most dangerous thing a human can believe.
This IS the life. This is it buddy... and suicide bombing somebody who doesn't believe in your after-life is just a WASTE. We'd love to think that the innocent victims go to heaven and the bombers to hell. They'd love to think it's the other way around. Something tells me neither is right and all those dead in the bombings are indeed in eternity... it's just an eternity of nothing.

Let's get on with surviving THIS life and making THIS life worth living. Forget about something we have absolutely, 100% no proof of.


footnote: If Jesus did come back to Earth, wouldn't people with a cross around their neck be the last people he would bond with? The Cross being his method of execution.

Shoot to kill

To see the police shoot someone in England is a very rare occurance. Our police do not use guns. Only a few are armed.
To think that a suicide bomber is pushed to the ground and shot 5 times is a little disturbing, yet understandable. You cannot risk the fact he will blow himself up.

Unfortunately for Brazilian, Jean Charles de Menezes (pictured), it is the wrong time to run away from an armed police officer. The country is very jittery at the moment and de Menezes only crime was that he had a large coat on. The police took this as a sign he was carrying explosives.
He ran away when confronted by a plain clothes officer brandishing a gun. I think at these sensitive times I would have run away from a man in London pointing a gun at me.
When they caught him they pushed him to the floor and shot him 5 times in the head. The first shot to the mouth to make sure his spinal cord was severed so he couldn't set off any explosives.

This horrific act has shocked Britain. The police followed him from his house. Watched him get on a bus without stopping him. (Why not fear him blowing up the bus?) They then challenged him before he entered a tube station. He ran because a man who was not dressed as a policeman pointed a gun at him. He made it into a train before the gunmen caught him and executed him.

The police are asking to be armed as in the USA. A spokesman said on Friday that "in this time of terror, I can see no reason why the police are not armed"....... err John Charles de Menzes's family will give you a reason.

We do not have the death penalty here because an innocent person could get killed by mistake. Why do we now have a shoot to kill policy which is equally unsafe to innocents?

Huge erections..

Warning - blurry full nekkidness at end of this post

For several months now they (who is they?) have been putting up huge structures about a mile out to sea where I live.
I say sea, it is the Thames Estuary but it is almost the North Sea.
The erections are for a 'wind-farm' that will produce electicity for someone(!)















If you look hard enough you can see them..
They look bigger in real life.

I am amazed that the locals 'allow' this eyesore to be built. We can't even cycle along the seafront without some old codger having a moan in the local press.
I was very disappointed that the sails they have put on the towers are not the same as the 'windmills' they sell for childrens push-chairs. That would have been much prettier.






Imagine 1,000 of these on one pole.
A whole lightbulb would be powered

It reminds me of something one of my young cousins once said. When asked, in a quiz, what buildings have sails? Instead of Windmills she replied "Woolworths" (Sales). She isn't blonde either!

London was attacked again yesterday. Thankfully there are some people walking around today who may not have survived had the explosions happenend as planned. I feel relief for them and fear for others who may end up being targets.

One thing I have been meaning to say is that although I have little idea what is inside a 'suicide' bombers head, I wish the press would give the 'glorification' of these tossers a rest.
Every day since the first attack on July 7th, the newspapers have carried photos and stories on the 'suicide' bombers past lives. We have seen their birth certificate, family history and holiday snaps.

mar·tyr ( P ) (märtr)n.
One who chooses to suffer death rather than renounce religious principles.
One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.
One who endures great suffering: a martyr to arthritis.
One who makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy.

If another misplaced Muslim is thinking of getting some sort of martyrdom out of their twisted logic then their crazy minds have been fuelled by the constant reference to their 'heroes'.
Why not give negative reporting like commenting on the size of their dicks or inability to get an erection. Ridicule is something to be scared of. A culture that is homophobic and scared of the soles of shoes is easily ridiculed.

Stop glorifying 'suicide' attacks and let the fu*k-wits wonder if their evil actions are worth obscurity. Far too simplistic, I know but that is how I feel.

Do not get me started on the role religion plays in all this carnage. That's for another day.

To end on a lighter note, here is the image you have all been waiting for from HNT.

What's wrong with your eyes? Too much HNT maybe.
Have a great weekend.

HNT # 2

Half Nekkid Thursday # 2
Here's one I prepared earlier. It was taken about 3 years ago.
The full photo has the 'even more' half nekkid me lower down from behind.
I will only post it if you throw money :)

I hhhthangooo

St Andrews 2005

Beautiful

I had a great time in St Andrews. The town is attached to the golf course, physically and culturally. It was absolutely buzzing. The pubs were packed, the weather was fantastic and the golf was exciting up to a point.

Highlights as follows:

* Jack Nicklaus making his farewell appearance. He was greeted and treated like a true champion. Amazing scenes.
* Two minute silence for bomb victims impeccably held and very stirring. There was not a dry eye on the Old Course.
* Seeing Tiger Woods give a lesson to all competitors and wipe the floor with them. Colin Montgomerie, the home favourite, gave a glimmer of hope for the Scots but was mauled by the Tiger in the end.


Close to Jack..

Tiger Woods has an entourage that follows him around. They are unnecessary (in Britain) and provoke feelings that Woods is 'up himself'. Every time I see Tiger interviewed I am very impressed with his humble and sporting attitude but his 'on course' presence does him no favours.
The monkeys that follow Woods around stare into the crowd and call out "no cameras" and "phone cameras away please". It is an insult to think that the golfing public are not aware of the etiquette in the game. We know that to take a picture as he is addressing the ball could put him off. To snap him while he is approaching the green would not hurt anyone.
The only press cameras I saw all week were all following Tiger. Their cameras make a shutter clicking noise. Two of them stood next to me on the 17th and discussed that it was a great shame Woods was not on the road. "What a great picture that would have been". The press are willing him to fail for their copy, the fans want him to do well but wish he would make himself more accessible.
He could learn a lot from Fred Couples. Couples is a fun guy around the course and always seems to be enjoying himself.

Fred Couples...always smiling

I am not a great Tiger Woods fan but admire his talent and realise a living legend when I see one.



















Moody me.... could have smiled.

I'm back

Back safe and well but no time to post at the moment. I will get around to it soon. A great time was had
Well done Tiger Woods, a true champion, if just a little unaccessible.

Closed

My fatalistic streak means I often wonder what happens if a blogger dies. Does a un-posted blog mean the blogger has met a tragic end. Bearing that in mind I thought I'd give forewarning before my blog lies dormant for a week.
I'm off to Scotland to watch the British Open Golf at St Andrews.
Whilst up there I will be playing at Gleneagles. Yes, home of the G8 and presidential cycle crashes. A webcam can be found here. Check it out you may see me duff a drive up the first hole. I tee off on Monday 11th at 5.10 and Weds 13th at 5.20.
I'll be back Tuesday 19th. Take care my fellow bloggers. If after the 20th July I haven't posted I may have met my end in a fiery crash on the M6...or struck by lightning....or hit by Tigers ball and hospitalised.....or...*fatalistic, I told you*.

Aftermath

The country is in shock. The capital is running as well as can be expected. The biggest problem now is the transport disruption. London runs on public transport and the terrorists knew that not only death and destuction would ensue but also chaos.
There is a lot of talk of the London 'blitz' mentality. A resolve that will endure anything put in its way. It would take a lot to break Londoners spirit. A common theme with New Yorkers too, so I have heard.

The USA has nothing to worry about when it comes to being blamed for the situation we are in. No-one, except for the hard-core peace campaigners, will see the US as a catalyst for this.
We know that Bush and Blair are not to blame for planning the perfect time to kill the most people possible. They are not to blame for pressing the trigger to destroy and maim so many lives.
The war in Iraq is questioned by many people here. The repercussions are that we are open for attack. We knew we was open for attack anyway. That is why the government was so concerned about WMD falling into terrorists hands. There may not have been WMD in Iraq but the fear was that there may have been and that they may have fallen into the hands of a group prepared to detonate in London.

We were told for months that it was not a question of If.. they strike but When. The awful destruction that some people and their families now have in their lives is not the fault of our leaders. It is the fault of the Evil that seeks to undermine our way of life. They spout their hatred in this country, freely. They have a freedom to do that. That is the freedom that they seek to destroy. It is a wierd paradox. If we were to silent them then we would be no better than their own oppressive society.
It is a sad day. It is, however, a day we had expected. There will probably be more. Why can't humans get on with each other?

Great Britain

They are cowards.
They target men, women, children, muslim, hindu, Christian.
They do not care what pain they bring. They have no thought for the misery they create.
They will not break us.
We have been through this before.
We have survived bombings in the war. The IRA targeted London many times.
We will not give in to them.
They bring terror as their weapon. We use freedom.
Casualties happen and our heartfelt sorrow to victims. The British people will carry on. Continue to go to work.
Continue to use public transport.
Continue to be free.
They do not fear death, they will lay down their lives for their cause.
They do fear failing to break us.
They fear not being able to change our way of life.
They have a lot to fear.
We will never let them win.
I am proud to be British.
I am proud to live in a Great Britain.

Under Attack

We are under attack in London.
A day after celebrating the award of the Olympics to London there is now carnage on the transport system. There are at least 6 explosions.
People are dying and it is so sad that life is lost because of the evil in this world.
Those people, just yesterday, were planning to take their children to the Olympics in 2012 now they are dead.
I am so angry and sad. Pray for the wounded and dead.

Half Nekkid Thursday

Everyone who searches for POP MY CHERRY and find this page, check out the more recent stuff in my blog.

You may be aware of Half Nekkid Thursday(HNT).
I am a HNT virgin. Here is my submission to pop that cherry.

Oh.. the humanity

I hhthaangyou.

Birthing-day

It's my sons birthday in 4 days time. Luke will be 13. Oh how the time goes. Since becoming a father I have realised many things. One of them is that the birthday is a celebration for the parents as well as the child. It is the 13th anniversary of the day that changed our lives.

It struck me that when I celebrate my birthday, my mum is also remembering the wonder, pain and joy that came into her life that day.
With this in mind I buy mum flowers on my birthday to say thank you and appreciate that she is having happy thoughts of a day that I *obviously* can't remember.
I have bought flowers for the mother of my children on their birthdays because they have been too young to appreciate this sentiment. Although we are no longer married I will still buy them for Luke to give to her but I think he is old enough now to be told how we, his parents, remember his birth with great fondness and it is as much our day as his.
I urge all of you who read this to remember your parents on your birthdays and think what memories they are having while you dig into your cake.

Eau de Toilet

It has always struck me (as a male) that females take a dim view of men who don't wash their hands after doing wee-wee, having a slash, number 2's(or is it 1's?I never know), pointing percy at the porcelin, etc.

As a man, I know that very rarely *make that never* have I urinated all over my hand. I hold, point and shake. There is no splashing or spraying. My hand is never contaminated.
As I also make sure my hose *cough* is very, very clean then, by touching it, there is no danger to health and safety (I bet you say that to all the girls?)
Therefore, I think the correct procedure for men to follow is to wash your hands before you touch the old boy. Who knows what germs are picked up on your hands and transferred to the little guy. Washing your hands before you pee has to be the sensible option.
I think women may be under the impression that the urine flies all over the place un-controllably. I have seen women wee(the internet is a world of information) and there seems little control of the flow. The penis is designed to spin the liquid when it expells it to form a jet.
Maybe it's just the fact that the man has touched his thingy and not washed his hands afterwards that is the problem. My thingy is germ free but for the sake of politeness I will continue to wash my hands after.

Happy 4th of July Americans. Enjoy your independance from the 'mother-country'. You'll be entering puberty soon... then we are all in trouble *smile*

Cute

I once told my mum that God was moving his furniture around when it was thundering. I was about 6 and was young and naive to believe that even if there was a God, he would have furniture.

One of the cutest things I have heard a child say is when they commented on the vapour trails left by aeroplanes in the sky.
"Look! That plane is scratching the sky"
I love the idea of the sky being scratched, it seems so primitive, something our ancient ancestors would say if they were to witness air travel.

American United

The takeover of Manchester United by the Tampa Bay Buccs owner, Malcolm Glazer, has caused such a fuss in the football(soccer) world.
Fans protested last night and had a mini riot because Glazer's sons turned up at Old Trafford to see their investment.
The Man Utd fans are venting xenophobic, bigotted views because they feel an American has no right in buying their precious team. If he was a Russian billionaire like Roman Abramhovic of Chelsea then they would probably be happy with that.
I am loving every minute of it. They deserve everything that happens to them. Their flagrant disregard of the FA Cup competition 4 years ago was disgusting. The money grabbing scum that sold the club on the stock market in the first place have put them in this position now.

The fans seem to think that because they are 'consumers' then they deserve a say in how the club runs. They should shut-up and get on with supporting the football. Leave the running of the club to the new owner.
My only concern is that Glazer borrowed the money to purchase the club by plunging Man Utd into millions of pounds of debt. Do you think I could buy a house like that? Could I borrow the money off the owner of the house I am buying? Let's hope he knows what he is doing.

Who wants to know?

Introducing an I.D. card is the talk of Britain at the moment. It has to be 'biometric' and chipped. There is talk it will cost around £200($390) each and will be voluntary to begin with.
There are arguments stating that it will stop terrorism, curb under age drinking and ease illegal immigration whilst others claim it will intrude on civil liberties.
I, as a paid up Libra, haven't made my mind up yet but I will ask one thing. Why do some people think they are so important that the autorities 'give a damn' what they are up to?
I hear people coming on the radio stating that supermarket loyalty cards and credit card payments lets 'the authorities' know what type of beans they are buying and the ID scheme is more intusion in our lives and 'they' will know more about us.
Do people honestly believe 'someone' is studying them and using information for sinister means. The only reason they want to know what beans you buy is so they can send you money off coupons for that brand.
I don't think that highly of myself to think that anyone cares about my 'normal' life. The only people that should worry are those that are up to no good and living out of the ordainary.

Vive la difference

An old British couple were visiting America. They pulled into a gas station in the middle of no-where. The pump attendant came out and the Englishman said "Fill her up with petrol please".
"We call it Gas over here" The American explained.
The English lady put here head out of the car window and shouted "What did he say..what'd he say?"
"It's ok dear" the Englishman said. "They call it Gas...Gas not petrol"
The visitor then asked the attendant. "Can you check the oil, I'll pop the bonnet for you"
"Eer, we call it a hood over here sir" the American politely corrected him.
"What'd he say, what's 'e saying" she screamed from her car again.
"It's alright love.....they call it a hood not a bonnet. A hood"
The attendant said to the man. "I couldn't help noticing you are from England sir. What part are you from?"
"We are from a town just north of London called Sudbury" replied the Englishman.
"I can't believe it" said the American "I was stationed near there during the war. I remember I had the worst lay of my life in Sudbury" said the attendant.
"What did 'e say.... What's he saying?" came the old womans cry.
The Englishman puts his head around the hood and shouts.."He f***ing knows you!"

A consenant, vowell and consenant. R.I.P.

Richard Whitely, a much loved TV presenter in the UK, has passed away. He was host of Countdown on Channel 4 and was a very sweet and intelligent character. He will be missed by the elderly and youth of Britain as he had drawn a cult following amongst the students at the tea-time slot.
For those of you that know the Countdown tune that plays while the timer spins round, wouldn't it be hilarious if his casket went through the curtains with that playing. Timed just right so the 'bidup, didup, diddley dee..pow' sounded when the curtains closed.
RIP Richard.

Something for the weekend sir/madam?

Something for the weekend, Have good and get give.

Sport, sport, SPORT

Well done to the San Antonio Spurs for winning the NBA Finals. It is difficult to support the Spurs even though I love San Antonio the place. (There are some photos I have taken in Alamo town here.) I am a Dallas Mavericks fan because there is a soccer team in England called Tottenham Hotspur who go by the nickname Spurs. As a West Ham Utd soccer fan it would be too much to walk around with Spurs on any merchandise I wore. Anyway well done Tim Duncan and co. Remember the Alamo!

So Tim Henman is knocked out of Wimbledon. Praise be. The extraordainary coverage in the English press Henman gets makes it hard not to tear your hair out. Every year it's going to be Tim's year. Thank God we don't have to listen to Union Jack plastered housewives screaming "Come on Tim" any more this year. Still the British press have a new hero to put on their pedalstool. Andrew Murray, the 18 year old Scot, is the new boy-wonder. Wonder how long it takes for the press to make us sick and tired of him?

I played golf yesterday for the first time in 4 years. We are going to Scotland to watch The Open Championship in two weeks and we are playing the Gleneagles course whilst up there. I thought maybe I should get a few hits in before I take on a championship style course. I managed to break 100 which I didn't think was too bad. My friend Stuart has a new driver for me which I haven't tried yet. "It'll make your drives go 30 yards further" he tells me...... 30 yards further into the rough methinks! FORE!

Come on the British Lions. We take on the All Blacks and if you want to see some big boys without shoulder pads and helmets crashing into one another, check out the Adidas advert. Click on Last Man Standing and choose the 60 sec clip and be patient.

Jackass

Filed under D for danger, I thought I'd share the limit of my reckless youth. (It really wasn't reckless at all but makes me sound more macho!)

Around 14 years old, in 19 eighty-something, some bright spark at school told us how to make yourself pass-out(without alchohol). It involves breathing heavy and other stuff which I will not share because I don't want copycat fainters out there.
The first time I did it was in my bedroom. I was amazed it worked. I did the magic thing that I can't say and ....'bonk' on the floor.
I did it several times and set up my tape recorder to time how long I was out for. EXTREMELY stupid because I could have hit my head on any number of sharp objects in my room.
I timed 40 seconds I seem to remember which fascinated me because it seemed like I came around instantly.
At one point while playing back the tape I heard my mum shout upstairs "Are you alright?"
Poor mum must have kept hearing me crash on the floor. "Stop banging" she would shout. Probably scared to think what a teenage boy would be up to in the solitude of his room, she never investigated more than that when I answered "I'm OK".
I stopped this pointless foolery the next day when, after asking a friend to catch me, I fell forward instead of back and landed flat on my face.
I came around with a cut lip and a splitting headache. All afternoon I had concussion and I have never, ever done it again.
There are many things we have done when we were young that we look back on and think "wow, that was stupid".
I think that is one of the scariest parts of parenthood... our own childhood being mirrored.

I'm 'avin a fag.

The powers-that-be in this country are talking of banning us from sucking on a fag in public.
I can hear my American friends choking on their Root Beer.
I know that having a fag in your mouth in public would get you executed in some states.
Is Great Britain that liberal that they allow fag puffing in the open?
Don't worry I am talking about smoking.
The great debate rumbles on about whether people can smoke in pubs and clubs around the country.

The langauge difference is very interesting.
If Americans were to compliment an English woman on her tight fanny, meaning a fit backside, they would be in for an interesting conversation.
A fanny over here has a WHOLE different meaning.
You also use the word 'pants' a lot which cracks us up because pants are underwear over here.

We are indeed, two nations divided by a common language.

Happy Slapping

Tom Cruise was attacked by a water filled microphone whilst being filmed for an interview over here.

There is a worrying craze going around Britain where kids attack people, slapping, hitting or humiliating them and filming it on their mobile phone videos.

What is the difference with the attack on Tom Cruise and the so called 'Happy Slappers' that 'society' is up-in-arms about?

Remember Tom. 'Ridicule is nothing to be scared of'.

I'm melting...

We thumped the Aussies in a one day international. They must be luring us into a false sense of security for the Test matches. I can't believe they are really that bad. We can laugh at them for a while though... they couldn't even beat Bandgledesh.

It's been hotter than the Carribean in England this weekend. Needless to say I am sunburnt. Hopefully the red will turn brown soon. Wimbledon starts today so I guess the rain will begin as well.

JOKE
I was asked my favorite joke the other day by my Suzy. I had to think but in the end I think this is my best-est:

A young boy was having his eyes tested. The optician asked him to cover his left eye and read the chart. The boy had trouble with his left and right and kept covering the wrong eye. The optician had come across this problem before so he brought out a tool he had specially prepared. It was a Kellogs cereal box with a hole cut in it so only one eye could see out. The optician placed it on the childs head. "Now read the chart please" he asked. The boy shoulders started shaking and it was clear he was sobbing inside the cardboard box. "what's wrong?" asked the optician. The boy replied....." I wanted a designer pair like my brother"

Congratulations to Kiwi, Michael Campbell, who won the US Open last night. Campbell lives in Brighton, England so we can claim a bit of success. I am off to see the British Open in July at St Andrews and will look out for the new champion. Watching golf is a bit like watching paint dry but I love the way 40,000 people can all keep quiet at the right times and cheer when needed. The American audience at the US Open was pushing this a bit by screaming " Get in the hole!!" even when Tiger Woods was teeing off on a 450yard hole. Lack of golfing knowledge or supreme optimism?

Strug-ger-ling for content today. Far too hot to blog. I'm off to plunge my head in a bowl of cold water. Air con is a wonder of the modern world. I just wish my unit worked a bit better.

Angel

A long time ago I heard a story that brought a tear to my eye. It may be an urban myth but I kinda hope it's true. I will attempt to tell it but forgive me if some facts are wrong because it was quite a while ago I heard it.

A boy was found to need a bone marrow transplant. He needed a match which often comes from siblings. His little sister was going to be tested to see if she had the right blood cell qualities. This involved taking a blood sample to be tested. The little girl was in the hospital room with the nurse. As the nurse was cleaning the girls arm she was struck by the little girls comments. The nurse realised the brave sister was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for her brother when she asked her "How long will it take before I get to heaven?" The little girl had thought that taking the blood sample would kill her but was going along with it to save her brother. *choke*

I am in touch with my feminine side. I took the test below and I am outed as an angel. I realise that angels are historically men but I also scored 59% mermaid!

You scored as Angel.Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel. Angel 75% Mermaid 59% Faerie 50% WereWolf 33% Dragon 25% Demon 8% What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!) created with QuizFarm.com

Remember: If you want to know your enemy then you should
walk a mile in his shoes........... that way he will be a mile away...and shoeless.

America continues to do soccer badly
FC Dallas scored some respect from me when they ditched the name Dallas Burn. They figured that by giving a more 'European' name they would be taken more seriously.
All this has gone out the window now they have signed a deal to call their new stadium 'Pizza Hut Park'.

You will never find such a ridiculously named stadium over here. Anfield, Old Trafford, St Jame's Park, Nou Camp, San Siro. ...
errr Pizza Hut Park doesn't fit buddy.

Speed of Light

Is anyone else as amazed as I am by the speed of 'search engines'. I know they have been around for a long time but they have always been that fast which is even more amazing because isn't old technology suppose to be sloooow compared with today.

If you type "www." into Google you get 2,990,000,000 results in 0.9 seconds.

There must be billions of websites and Google can search through them all to find something as obscure as "tidy squirrels" and you get 4 results in 0.27 seconds.

nut smuggler

It has to be a modern wonder of the world..... along with how they get little people in my TV set. How on earth do search engines work so fast.(geeks need not answer that)

It takes my computer ages to search my hard drive. It took 30 minutes to tell me it couldn't find any mpegs with 'melons' in the title. *cough*

Top 6 things that make me go 'oooooo'

1. Search Engines
2. Aeroplanes
3. Air Conditioning
4. Mobile phones
5. The Universe
6. Melons!

Who found this?

The Google map thing is wonderful. In America you can view satellite images of an area. At this website, Google Sightseeing, someone has spotted a image of an aeroplane flying while photographed by the satellite.

click here to see the full image

Who found this and how?

I have used the satellite map to drive along roads with my mouse. I 'drove' from San Francisco to L.A. It was a lovely day and I think I was on the wrong side of the road but no-one seemed to mind. *fruitcake*

Doves anyone?

Just a footnote on the Michael Jackson case. Did you see the woman releasing a dove every time Jacko was aquitted?

Question..... Where does one get hold of doves? Is there someone who catches them, like fish, or are they bred like pets and released to fend for themselves?

TRIUMPH the Insult Dog destroys Jacksons fans outside the courtroom here.

This is hilarious especially at the end when the woman is insisting she saw MJ 'come in his pyjamas'.